How to find Love?

“Love is not a feeling, it’s the Essence of Who We Are.”

What exactly is Love? Love is very, very difficult to talk about. I can start perhaps by talking about what love isn’t, because love isn’t all the love songs, all the romantic love stories, all the television dramas.

    This drama of love between couples is definitely not really love. And paradoxically, it is also love because my sense of love is that love is a fundamental energy and everything can be said to be love. Love is not confined to a certain relationship or relationship at all.

    You can describe love as an inner feeling, a feeling that comes from the deepest part of us. But its not even a feeling, it is our being, our essence, love is who we really are. Love actually is also the divine because our essence is divine. We’re not separate from the divine. The divine is love and love is divine, and everything is divine and everything therefore is also Love.


This is one of the biggest misunderstanding people are suffering from, as it keeps us constantly looking for love on the outside. And while we are busy searching, we don’t see that love is already there, on the inside and only on the inside.

    For this connection to love, our essence, we don’t have to do anything, because when we arrive as a small bundle of joy, we have this love, we are this love, and we’ve always been this love, and we will always be this love. 

    Unfortunately as we grow up we are conditioned by the society to see love as something outside of us, something separate from us, something we have lost. Hence a  relationship to get it back.


However close you come in some moment of deep intimacy, in the sharing of great music, or great art, even when you share such a deep interest or sexual intimacy together, still in the end you feel separate, you don’t feel completely, Love.

    The true love is a deep connection to yourself in every moment, in a total feeling of Oneness. A feeling that everything and everybody is actually one with my own essence, that I am in fact not separate from anyone or anything. Going through life with this kind of certainty is a beautiful way to live. You could say it’s the most beautiful way to live, and this beautiful way to live is a given. It is our birthright. This has always been what we are offered when we arrive on this planet, we’ve always been offered the chance from moment to moment to live as Love.


This can be seen very easily in little children. They have a freshness, a spontaneity, an innocence, that everything is interesting, to be discovered.   Little children are still living, you could say, as the true love, and you can feel it. There’s such a love, for every moment, it’s like being with little volcanoes, the joy of life, the joy of every moment, the joy of love, the joy of the divine.

   Love is very, very close and we are so busy that we often don’t have time because love is something that can only be experienced when we transform and look inside. We need to turn 180 degrees and look inside. We need to be aware of our deepest place, our deepest quality of energy, because love is the fundamental energy of the Universe.

You can’t talk about it, nobody can really talk about it because how can you talk about love?  The poets try, the great writers try, the greatest artists and musicians, even the great scientists try. But how to talk about love?

    When this love is met, you immediately recognize it, you immediately know it. It’s like finding an old friend that you know and you knew, but you lost contact for sometime, and then suddenly one day, it’s like, Wow! I met my old friend. I always knew this, this is not really new, this is a rediscovery of something fundamental which I’ve always known. It`s like Coming Home.


Love can be found through silence, through a deep silence, so that the mind in all it’s busyness, in all it’s thoughts, in all it’s projections, in all its attachments, in all it’s history, in all it’s stories, becomes quiet, becomes absent. In this silence we suddenly discover love, this love is deeply touching, something extraordinary, this is something beyond the normal, this is something that is rare, a rare phenomena.     

    When you would meet another person in this phenomena, you can immediately feel it, you can say, Wow! You can have a moment of complete Oneness with this other person, because in the end there is not many, in the end it’s all one, not many small waves, but one great ocean.

     As we fall deeper into this great ocean, we come closer and closer to love, a love that is always present, and perhaps the journey of our life, the journey of human life, is a journey into the depths of this ocean, which is Love. 

11 Responses

  1. Very touching article.
    Nobody is teaching us what Love is – not society, not school – we all growing up in an illusion with a closed heart looking desperately for somebody who covers our pain.
    Coming in contact with the inner love is healing and life changing.

  2. It’s a great reminder,
    when we are love, there is no need for anything else. Pitty that we’re forgetting again and again.

  3. This text about love resonated with me deeply and is beautifully written. Looking forward to more blog posts!

  4. In your words I can hear the Grace and simplicity of Love that is just given. It is beautiful and touching but what you are describing sounds like the goal of a long way from where I am standing. How to get there? And what to do in the meantime, when you don’t yet live this kind of love and feel what you are describing, the lack of lost Love?
    Thank You.

    1. We should remember it was given on arrival!
      We have been conditioned with so many things that create’s a barrier to our essence.
      So, the inner work is to become aware about the barrier’s and see they are not real.
      Meditation which creates an inner silence is a great support.

      Love is never lost only temporally covered.

  5. To come in contact with this real love is something you never forget & also you can’t confound it with the illusionary love.
    In this space is no wanting, no needs, very beautiful.
    When you are there you just know, no question anymore how to come there.
    To find a teacher who shows you the real love is a profound gratitude .
    Thanks a lot for sharing again & again

  6. Love can be so overwhelmingly beautiful, too much for the mind that wants to have control, concepts and explanations.
    Let me drown in this infinite ocean,
    merge with this infinite abundance

  7. I have had overwhelming glimpses,
    but afterwards love was covered again. And still I can be completely trapped in old negative mind structures. Meditation as daily practice is great help, but also to look at an animal or tree or flower to connect to silence, is my experience. And for sure a teacher who lives this Love, he makes it easier to tune in into Silence.

  8. Yes, I am Love ! ! ! I forget . . . and choose to play the game of Ignorance . . . playing, playing . . . and now, it’s time to go back home . . . Love !

    [ can not be a feeling . . . – Thoughts, bodily sensations, feelings appears and disappears ]

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